On a side note; now that I have (or had, however you look at it) cancer, when I see people doing things that are known to cause cancer, I'm not going to lie. It makes me mad. We all have our vices, but remember: Cancer sucks, it's expensive, it can make you infertile, and in order to stop it they have to pump your body full of wonderful drugs that also happen to be carcinogens. So if you're going to do things that cause cancer, I hope it's worth it for you!
I know that many people struggle to have a positive outlook on life when things don't go their way. I know that many people struggle to have a positive outlook, even when things ARE going their way. So when you see what I'm going through it might be surprising that I am able to stay generally positive. I am not always all smiles, you don't see me when I feel like crud, or on the days when I spend the whole day on the couch (today). But generally, I am happy and positive and looking on the bright side.
|This is punny, because B+ is my blood type. So you could say... Being positive is in my blood :)|
What do I physically do to help myself stay positive, even when it's very easy to not be?
I talk to my dog like he's a human, because if I didn't there would be many days where I wouldn't have a conversation with anyone until after 5:00.
If it's not pouring down rain I go outside at least once. If the sun is out, I sit in the sun even though I'm not supposed to because of the chemo drugs and antibiotics.
I remain thankful for my support system, and if someone offers to hang out with me, I take them up on it. It helps that all of these people happen to be experts on being positive.
I try to manage my symptoms, and when I'm successful in that, I count it as just that: A success.
I allow myself a small amount of trashy TV each week, and other than that I try and avoid it. No Kardashians for me.
I have never stopped thinking of the future: In the next 3 years (thats 2 years of maintenance chemo and 1 year of being DONE) we will build a house and try and fill it with kids that may or may not be biologically mine.
I get enough sleep, but not too much.
I try not to be too hard on myself. I've always tried to eat healthy, but for the 4 days after I get Vincristine I crave fried and fast foods. Sometimes I give in to the cravings.
If I am moping around, or haven't done what I need to do to take care of myself, my wonderful husband always seems to know exactly what to do. Sometimes I need to get out of the house, sometimes I need an inflatable mattress in the living room, and sometimes I need good food, or to get hydrated. He can read my mind though, so he always know what I need before I know what I need.
I still find joy in my daily life, and how could I not stay positive when my life has so much joy in it. Also, If I'm able to find joy in my daily life now of all times, I can only imagine how great my life is going to be when this is behind me. I can't wait for that, and that helps me stay positive.
But as you can imagine, there are times when I can't stay positive ... Why me? ... I try not to ask that question.
A quick update: I started phase 3 on January 4th, and got a lumbar puncture that day. The procedure went really well, the doctor used more lidocaine than they usually do, so I didn't feel a thing. I thought I was in the clear. I was wrong. I spent 2 weeks with a headache this time, as well as a feeling in my back and neck that is hard to explain, sort of similar to spasms. It was pretty terrible. Last Thursday I went into my doctor appointment skeptical, because I didn't know how the new chemo had affected my blood counts, so I was wearing a dreadful procedure mask. I met with the doctor, and he looked at my labs and let out a "Woohoo!" -- My ANC was over 1,000 (which is almost as high as before my diagnosis). That means that my body is actually capable of fighting off some bugs on its own right now! On Friday we celebrated by going out to dinner, one of my first times out in public since September, and it was great. Right now my appointments in Eugene are only every 10 days, so while I still feel absolutely terrible for a few days after chemo, I do have enough time to recover a bit and enjoy myself.
I asked Facebook what I should blog about, and this post came about because of a comment about my positivity. I've already got another post in the works, talking about the other things that were mentioned. If you want to ask something, or want me to write about something specific, let me know!
Also, what do you do to stay positive?